First time this far north, first time this long in just a tent with all my stuff on my back in a backpack almost bigger than myself.

In the last year, as I’ve become more connected to myself, things have started to happen. I’ve been attracting events to myself that I think about until it’s no longer surprising. This all multiplied the moment we started to discover our connection with Michel. There are an incredible number of synchronicities happening and even a rational soul can no longer ignore it.

When Michel told me he loved Lofoten, I knew it was again one of the events I was manifesting. We had arranged to go on a trip from the first time we knew each other.

We went with 2 backpacks, mine weighed 12 kg, Michel’s probably weighed a lot less because he had bought super ultra light gear before the trip but also carried more of our common stuff. I took my Osprey backpack out for the first time for the trip it was designed for and immediately found a lot of flaws – the backpack is too big, relatively heavy. Still, I managed to walk 17 days with it in rain, wind, sun, hills and lowlands and I was so grateful for having it and really connected to this thing a lot.

This trip seemed so insanely long. We didn’t really have a plan, the days went by as they should, we weren’t in a hurry to get anywhere, and we weren’t really aiming for any big goals in terms of destinations. Everything was in such a beautiful flow and in harmony with Mother Nature and communication with Mother Teresa that we discovered the most isolated places far from everything, close to each other and faced fears that could only show themselves in those moments when we were not distracted by the pleasures and terrors of the ordinary everyday. Beyond the breathtaking scenery and the almost incomprehensible power of nature, I discovered above all my own peace and, perhaps for the first time in my life, truly disconnected from any lust or need to achieve anything. I allowed myself to just be. To look. To contemplate. To think. To get angry but also to appreciate and be grategul. I allowed myself to be 100% present and to share that presence with another person and to show the sides that are hidden to everyone else. To open up and be aware and face it all. To feel truly selfless and like just a speck in this complex and perfectly created world. To let myself drift into almost magical synchronicities and be part of something whose principle will probably always be hidden from me. And it is good to be like that.

Å to Stokkvika

The first hike we did from the southernmost town of Å to the deserted beach of Stokkvika, where we tested the weight of our backpacks. First Chicken&Mushrooms Huel for me and also the first time setting boundaries. Beautiful lake, I listened to a podcast about how limbs evolved in evolution. And for the first time, I was also feeling how “it’s not night”. How it was actually semi-dark even at midnight. When we woke up, we had the longest morning for me in a VERY long time. We swam in the lake naked, me enjoying how the water was soooo cold. I also enjoyed the Skyr yogurt I packed. We had a long conversation at the endless sunset, but very beneficial for both of us. It was actually the very beginning, and I had no idea how en trip would turn out.

Hanging out in front of the museum in A. Dried fish and all our gear

Sørvågen – Krokvatnet – Tennesvatnet – Hermannsdalsvatnet – Bunes Beach

On the third day we set off on an adventure that neither of us expected to be intense. We didn’t really know what lay ahead and it was very intense in the end. In all aspects.

The first day we walked until about 3am, when I was very much at my wits end and thought I would fall asleep while walking. At the same time, I was afraid I was going to fall somewhere. We were in an incredibly remote place and I think really few people do this trek. Huge rocks and an infinitely long trail ahead. We had to pitch our tent in the middle of the rocks, which was really cool as a result. I felt a lot of freedom and also a lot of happiness and love. Also a lot of freedom and a lot of excitement about the unknown ahead. That’s actually been with me the whole time. The not knowing what the next day was going to bring. Pure presence.

 

Getting to Forsfjorden

The next day we were walking again at night, it was raining heavily and we were wading through the river. For me it was one of the strongest moments of the trip. The feeling of complete relaxation. It was so wet and cold everywhere, and I was also so tired and exhausted that I almost felt like I was on some kind of psychedelic. Nothing mattered. Only one thing mattered, and that was to get down there and pitch a tent somewhere. Suddenly, even a simple ferry stop seemed like the coziest place. I could imagine sleeping on concrete somewhere, as long as it was under a roof and with some feeling that some human soul could save us in the worst case

Vindstad

The next day we walked around the fjord to the village of Vinstadt. It actually took us almost the whole day. On the way there, I prayed that there would be a café and Michel joked that a café was the last thing there would be. And that was the first time I prayed to Mother Teresa. And then suddenly Michel said there was a café! I started running and suddenly I was full of happiness. They hardly had anything, but we had a sandwich for an awful lot of money and I had a coffee. I realised a lot in Lofoten how addicted I am to coffee. I want to do something about it, but at the same time I’m not very good at it. But it’s definitely one of those minor problems. Then we went to Hermannsdalsvatnet beach and before that we met a guy from Oslo who has a cottage in Vinstadt. He was making jokes about death and was kind of serious, but in a good way. He offered about 3 times that we could leave our stuff with him etc. His cabin even had an Instagram profile.

Hermannsdalsvatnet

This place was really WOW. Michel almost fainted before we got there, but was saved by my oatmeal chocolate porridge on the hill, which he had commented earlier with “A complete waste of space”. LOL. We arrived again more or less at night. But to one of the most magical and remote places. With an old farmhouse. I felt really far away from everything there. And it made me a little anxious. We were washing things in the lake in the morning and I didn’t feel like going again. Everything was so wet. It was very windy all the time, but the sun was shining. I realized how much the wind makes it feel cold.

Bunes Beach

A popular place, a beautiful beach, but I realized that what I was looking for was seclusion and solitude rather than just something interesting to look at.

After that night, we returned to Reine by ferry and went out to eat. A lot of eating. Michel ordered too many things. Then we were going to take the ferry to Varoy, but I forgot the hiking poles outside the cafe (which were essential for setting up our tent). So we ran out about 2 minutes before the ferry left and hitchhiked back to Reine. Then we returned to Moskenes at night and spent the night at the campsite. And took our first shower. Which was actually much needed. And I also had wine for the first time. Also much needed. Yeah, and it was definitely the nicest campsite I’ve ever seen.

 

VAROY   

A chapter in itself, but what took place on that island was wonder and magic. I don’t know how else to describe it. I love going and going to places for their “vibe”. And it more or less doesn’t matter what the vibe is, but I love soaking up the vibe of places and how people live. I love much more being somewhere that is more or less “nothing” because that’s where the real magic lies. That’s exactly what happened at Varoy. A small island that can only be reached by ferry. As soon as we arrived, we immediately went to the local Coop supermarket, bought about 70€ worth of food there and spent at least 2 hours outside the store eating and contemplating. In front of us was a campaign of some local Varoy community political party, cute with coffee and chairs with fur. We didn’t know anyone at that point, and I was just in my bliss watching the locals gather and chat outside the Coop. The square consisted of the Coop, a pub, a cafe and the Kiosk which was down the street. We rented bikes there later.

We got to our campsite via a beautiful mountain and plateau that appeared out of nowhere and looked like a gateway to heaven. Accompanying us the whole time was Moskens Island.

In the evening we went to a local pub and again – can’t explain it, but the perfect place for a “vibe”. We ate sweets with chilli peppers and after that evening knew much of the local Varoy community, who we then met throughout our stay on Varoy.

We spent one whole afternoon psyching ourselves up on the beach and I have never felt so connected to nature and just “being”. I was always dealing with some internal issues on the trek, crying a lot, so it was like “cleaning” myself. But this was really pure connection with nature and almost like transcendent. We were accompanied by a set from favourite Narfux.

The whole day culminated with us walking back to the tent from the local pub and suddenly the Northern Lights appeared in front of us. A first for me. It was really like it just wanted to show itself to us. Michel expressed the wish that it would be cool to see it, but neither of us thought it could be real.

I kind of prayed to Mother Teresa the whole trip (which is a new thing for me) and she answered a lot of things. It’s actually kind of funny to me because up until about last March I thought my “guardian angel” was my ex Toubar. It probably sounds a little weird, but it really was. Thankfully, I don’t think that anymore and maybe I got out of the loop of unhappiness because of it.

 

Fredvang – Kvalvika – Selfjord – Kirkefjord

The last hike we went on was for 3 days and although we were very tired and didn’t really want to go, it ended up being a highlight of the trip again (like pretty much every single day). We hitchhiked to Fredvang and from there went to Kvalvika beach. It was beautiful there. We met a great woman who we met through sharing a tent. She had a wonderfully calm aura and said that a trip to Lofoten had been her dream for many many years. So I realized that I was actually living someone’s dream. And I often forget that. And I like to remind myself. We exchanged contact the next day. There was a cool house on Kvalvika beach that some surfers built over the winter and made a movie about it called North Of The Sun. The whole place was magical, even though it was very crowded for us.

The next day we slept at Selfjord, where I met a local lady in the morning who gave me milk and told me about their life there. Like how it’s not so cold there in the winter, that tourists go there a lot already and about how they moved there for retirement. We had a discussion with Michel again, but I feel like we’ve learned to correct that over the course of the trip.

 

The last part of the hike was very challenging for me. I didn’t have the strength and I was just generally sick. On the way we met this guy like he came from Beate (my favorite Berlin club). He was really chill, alone and then we met him at Circle K in Reine again. For the last kilometre or so I really couldn’t and just tried to listen to the songs and not focus on my feet.

When we got back to Reine, we had a break for about an hour and then hitchhiked the long way back to Leknes. There we bought a cell phone for Michel and some other essentials and drove back to Leknes again. In the car back I met a guy who gave me a taste of his chewing tobacco, which almost made me throw up. I had a hard time getting out of the car at all. Just as I remember it – I was so sick, just like the last time I had chewing tobacco 10 years ago. So, for at least the next 10 years, I’d like to stay away from this thing.

 

ROST

Rost is the furthest island you can reach by ferry. It is about 2 hours from Moskenes. It’s a completely flat island and it’s very windy. But I had an absolute sense of freedom there, I didn’t want to do anything and actually just enjoyed “being”. We rented bikes and it was so interesting to see the place. There’s actually nothing there, but that was probably the most interesting part. We had a burger at a local cafe. It wasn’t good. Then we had wine and fish soup with sunset at the next and only restaurant. We stayed there until sunset and were happy. I was a little less happy because it cost an awful lot of money, but I tried not to think about it. I had some mixed feelings about eating a lot and spending a lot on it, but it also kind of pointed out that I still don’t have my eating disorder issues solved. After our experience in Rost, we had already decided that we wanted to stay in a normal hotel on our last day, so after transferring to Bodo (where our flight was leaving from) we moved to the Radisson Blu Hotel, which was a very refreshing experience. In the evening, we went for wine at a pretty cool bar and got a free shot from the owner. The waiter working there was totally super charming and had a really cool special aura, which not only I could tell, but Michel could tell too. Haha.

 

What I’m taking away from this trip (among other things, now that I’ve had a quick thought):

• Nature heals (but also opens) maaaany wounds
• Being disconnected for this long is something I want to do regularly and not avoid
• I want to be present and clear my head, clear my thoughts and let them flow freely
• I too can just be, not rushing around, not planning anything and not actually doing anything in particular
• There’s power in silence
• Moods come and go, no matter the circumstances. They are there without being influenced by anyone else.
• Sometimes I get so overwhelmed by emotions that I can’t control them even if I wanted to, and I appreciate that I’m aware of it and that it’s something that’s within me and not at all what the environment is like
• Living completely present, in the moment and having unlimited time is what I want to share and experience with my loved ones
• I love sour things and I really missed the sour taste when we were always eating dry food
• I want to have lightweight gear soon or later to make me walk well haha
• Just because Norwegians make a lot of money in our opinion doesn’t necessarily mean they have a better standard of living.
• Nature in the north is so pure it hurts to think about how we are destroying it
• I absolutely MUST see the Northern Lights and check out Svalbard
• Love can also be peaceful and inexhaustible. A relationship takes work. A lot of it. And a lot of communication. And a lot of patience. And a lot of understanding. And a lot of getting hurt before so we know we don’t want them again.